Protect Your Energy, Protect Yourself

It’s Self Preservation, Really

This is when I remove myself from anyone who hurts me more than they love me. Away from anyone who drains me more than they replenish me, brings me more stress than they do peace. I’ve given you second and third chances. I was under the assumption that our connection was two-sided. And then you went ahead and did that thing again. I thought you could see past yourself and act like a decent human. It’s almost impossible because I’ve made you a hero. But you can’t; despite all those empty words that you speak, you say nothing. You are still just your average, everyday entitled fool. Now it’s about self preservation.

Fool Me Once, Shame on You…

Let me be clear, these words, that I’m typing right here are for me, for my growth for my welfare. The mistake is mine too. As humans, we are always on the lookout for our next hero. We raise our community thinking we need heroes, someone to idolize. – because you painted yourself with the perfect brush, it was easy to believe in you. You acted the right way, you even said all the right things. It’s easy to idolize someone like that.

The World Needs Heroes

As a society, we’re trained to look up to someone, to have a hero, someone who makes us want to be better people. We hold them in that light for as long as they let us because they like it. They play the role of the hero until they falter. Every hero has a flaw. Everyone does, we’re only human after all, right? Or some tragedy brings them down, overcomes them. That’s when we see them for the people they truly are. It’s easy now because they’ve crumbled down from that pedestal that we’ve put them on. And they land right in front of us, at our feet, sometimes even bringing us down with them. But now we see them, shadows and all. a mere shell of who we’d made them out to be.

But You Say You’re Still the Same Person

I saw you scrambling to find your pieces. You were digging and climbing, trying to get on top of that pedestal again, I was down here repairing my injuries. Filling the holes you left when I gave you pieces of me. I filled those holes, but NOT with you, but with ME. The pieces of me that got broken and bruised when you came crashing down needed replacing. I filled those empty spaces that disintegrated when you fell at my feet. I made me stronger, more resilient and far less prone to injury. Better than the old me. Stronger than the old me. I took those lessons you didn’t know you were teaching and am stronger now, I don’t need a hero anymore.

Instead, I Choose to Chase the Only Person I Can Trust

The future version of myself that I am always working to improve. My highest self. I strive to be a better person, always. Where you are happy with who you are, stunted and complacent, I continue to learn and improve who I am.

I Owe You a Debt of Gratitude

I am forever in your debt for giving me the opportunity to grow and explore the whys and hows. If it weren’t for you failing at truth and ownership, I may have missed this opportunity for growth.